Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
