Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
