You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
