Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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