I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
