I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
