first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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