1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
