Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
