did you get engaged???
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
