I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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