she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
