Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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