Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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