just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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