Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
