Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize