Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
