Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
