seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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