listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
