You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
