Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
