hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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