definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
