Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
