Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
