So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
