yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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