so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My life is pants optional.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
