I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
