i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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