I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Two words: blizzard sex
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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