Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There's always time for handjobs
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
