My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Drunk is not a location!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
