i dont even know how to be here
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
