The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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