Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
