you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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