u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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