I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
