well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
