your parents love me but you hate me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize