Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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