one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
