I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
