Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
