i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Vodka?
Forever.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
