yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
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