to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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