Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
