I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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