I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
