I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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