I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
