Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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