Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My vagina is officially offended.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
