We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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