Im at strip club and am horny
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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