Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
