return my video game
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
