Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize