I just pynch a tree in the face
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
