I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
